How Do I Get Through This When It Feels Impossible?

By Nicole Deaver, LCMHC, LMHC-QS

Hard times are part of being human. As a therapist this comes up in my daily conversations —this collective ache, this question we all face in different ways: How do I get through this?

Whether you’re going through something personally painful, feeling the heaviness of the world, or just trying to keep your head above water, the truth is this: you’re not alone.

So what are some ways to get through it?

1. Start with the Basics

When things feel overwhelming, it helps to return to the basics—the small things that anchor us:

• Move your body, even just a little.

• Drink enough water.

• Eat healthy food.

• Get outside for fresh air.

• Get good sleep.

• Be around someone (or some-animal) who makes you feel safe.

  
  

These may seem simple, but they’re powerful. They send a message to your body and nervous system: I’m safe. I can take care of myself.

Beyond these basic strategies there are other tools that are handy to have your toolkit.

Get outside and move your body

2. Move When You Feel Stuck

Sometimes the hardest part is feeling stuck—emotionally, mentally, physically. One way to address feeling low or frozen is literal movement. Not a workout, not a dance party (unless you want to!), just a gentle sway, or a slight bend at the hips.

If you can’t move much, try breath: Inhale deeply… hold… and exhale slowly. That small shift—getting movement in the core or breath in the body—can help interrupt the stuckness.

3. Catch the Thought Spirals

   
   

You know those moments where your thoughts start racing, spiraling, catastrophizing? We all go there. But here’s a reminder: those things you’re imagining aren’t actually happening right now. So instead of following those thoughts try this:

• Notice the spiral.

• Say (out loud or in your head): “Stop.”

• Come back to now. Breathe. Feel your feet on the floor.

• Coach yourself with something true and kind:

  1. This is hard, but I can do hard things.

  2. I’ve been through tough times before.

  3. I know what to do next, even if it’s just one small step.

4. Let the Feelings Move

Most of us are taught to avoid big feelings. But what happens when we actually let ourselves feel?

Try this:

• Notice where the emotion lives in your body.

• Is it tightness in your chest? A lump in your throat? An ache in your belly?

• Instead of analyzing or fixing it, just notice it. Let it rise, peak, and move through you.

This is emotional alchemy—letting the body feel instead of forcing the mind to “figure it out.”

5. Laugh When You Can

   
   

Laughter may feel far away in hard times, but it’s also a secret medicine. It lights up your brain with feel-good chemicals, releases tension, and helps you breathe deeper.

What makes you laugh?

• For me, it’s clips of SNL, Amy Poehler’s podcast, and babies giggling at puppies.

• For you, it might be a funny friend, a nostalgic movie, or TikTok dance moves.

Seek out a little joy—it counts.

6. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

   
   

When life feels heavy, connection is essential. Talk to someone who gets it. Let a friend bring you food. Ask for help. Or simply text someone, “Hey, can we talk for a minute?”

Sometimes the best medicine is just not being alone with it all.

7. Tap it Out: EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

   
   

One practice I use often in sessions is EFT tapping—a powerful, body-based tool that helps release intense emotions. It’s simple, effective, and calming to the nervous system. It involves tapping on acupressure points to shift the fight or flight response. There's research that shows this approach is incredibly effective.

Here’s a video you can watch that shows how to use it when things feel overwhelming. (Feel free to try it right now, no experience needed.)

How to use EFT to regulate your emotions.

8. Look to Faith

   
   

This is a big topic to get into and I could probably write a whole post just on this. So I'll try to keep it simple. Here are some questions to help you explore this resource: What does faith look like for you? When/where do you feel at peace? If you believe in something greater, this helps the here-and-now to feel smaller and less overwhelming. If you believe that this is all there is, then you can think positively about doing what you can to live in the best way you can.

Final Thoughts: Hard times are hard, but they aren’t forever. You can walk through them, one small step at a time. You can soften into the discomfort, breathe through the fear, and slowly get back to center.

You don’t need to be perfect or strong all the time. You just need to be gentle and honest with yourself. And keep going.

You’ve got this. And if you ever need support, I’m here.

With warmth,

Nicole Deaver, LCMHC, LMHC-QS